I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
