i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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