its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
