You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
