Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Randomize
