Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
