apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
