So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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