I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
