Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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