when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
