I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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