i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Randomize
