I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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