my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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