It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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