Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
