well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
