and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
there is glitter all over my balls
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
