How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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