Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The air taste purple.
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