the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
