I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize