I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
