How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
