You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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