i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
