aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
