Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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