oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You're like the curious george of whores
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
