At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize