I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
