I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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