So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
