What did we do last night that was yellow?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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