Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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