There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
