When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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