What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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