I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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