ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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