Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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