wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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