She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
