hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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