That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Randomize
