Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
