i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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