im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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