I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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