Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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