NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
