I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
