We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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