Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
