they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
