he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize