I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
operation harelip BJ is a go
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Sorry about my life...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize