Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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