You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
