i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
